Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I am naked and annoyed.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
A bitchslap is in order.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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