'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
