Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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