i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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