Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
