Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
North Korea, Best Korea!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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