i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
