he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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