Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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