sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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