so that wasnt chicken after all
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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