What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
