I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
