What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
