Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
