So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
