Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
