I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
