dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.