just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet