He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think your dad took our porno
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
