My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
