I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.