If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS