Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
