I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
