And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
