she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
