No stitches, just platelets and will power
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
