im having a threesome with these popsicles
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
