We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
