in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize