dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
