The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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