He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize