And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
