The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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