before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
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To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
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In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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