just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
