apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize