Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
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