Umm I'm too high to move.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I need a beard to bite.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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