i used baking grease as lip gloss
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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