you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
there is another microwave in the elevator.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
