Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
