I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
How many fucks given?
0.12846
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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