Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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