You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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