My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
