Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
