Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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