thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
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On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
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High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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