don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize