the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My life is pants optional.
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