Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
