Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
